Written by Mermaid Maxine
“Mermaid Princess Amelia and the Lost Symphony” sucks. Yeah, it does! All novels do in one way, or another. All novels could be better than what they are. But typically, you only discover that after writing (or reading) one.
In this blog post, I will criticize my own book, and tell you about everything that I hated about it. I’m doing it to break the stereotype that authors don’t see the flaws and shortcomings of their works. We do.
My journey with Amelia Quintana began as early as in 2007, when, I drew her in MS Paint and wrote the first chapter of her story. In the time period of 2007-2010, I wrote around 89 chapters that later became material for “…The Lost Symphony” and the sequel, “…The Destiny’s Theater.” In 2011-2012, I rewrote “…The Lost Symphony” and are working on “The Destiny’s Theater,” until today. But the version of “…The Lost Symphony” you’re getting on Amazon, is much different from that version from 10 years ago (God, I can’t believe, it’s been ten years already!). In the meantime, I’ve edited and rewrote most parts, to ensure, you’re getting the best book possible.
However, there are still certain things that I hate about it, things that, unfortunately, were impossible for me to change. Trying to change them, would make the novel fall apart structurally. Here’s a list of all things that I dislike but can’t do anything about.
Unforgivable Flaw no. 1 – Half of the cast is sea royalty, and they’re teenagers overburdened with political responsibilities
Let me think about the last time, I’ve met an aristocrat. Hmm. Can’t recall meeting any at all! The most famous person that I have met were probably my country’s consuls abroad, my college institute’s dean, a local author, and, I’ve been to a Queen concert back then in 2011! But, I’ve never met any prince or princess. Yet, half of the cast of “…The Lost Symphony” are royals. I feel that this happened because, I was like 13, when writing the first draft of “…The Lost Symphony” and back then, my greatest inspirations was “Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch,” an anime about mermaid princesses from the seven seas. In any case, be aware that I’m seeing this flaw and are swimming away from it as fast I can, I promise.
Another problem related to the characters that upsets me, is their young age. As a teenager, I felt that it was okay for Lumina, to be sixteen, and live alone, and constantly move between countries. Now, I realize, it would be pretty much impossible. Plus, she’s got too much history, to be the same age, as Amelia. As a result, I had to make her older, and the same happened to Araminta/Samantha, Tikalie, and also Edith. The worst problem that I had, was with Edith, because, she’s in the same class as Amelia, but eventually, I managed to find a way around it. You’ll learn more about it in “…The Destiny’s Theater.”
Unforgivable Flaw no. 2 – Mermaids wear minimal garments sometimes and their constant moving between land and sea creates awkward situations
One of my male friends read “…The Lost Symphony” and pointed out to me that Amelia and her friends, are constantly running around in bras. My mother said: “Well, of course they’re running around in bras, they’re mermaids!” But still, I think that he had a good point, mermaids do wear minimal garments as they’re moving between land and sea.
To solve this problem, I did my best to make Amelia wear more clothes than typical mermaids do; as she gets out of the water after the earthquake, she’s not naked at all, she’s wearing her princely dress. And on another occassion, when her sister stepped out of the sea, she (the sister) was in her human form already, wearing a long gown covering her from chest to toe.
As for other times when they enter, or leave the sea, I think, I cut them all out. But they surely don’t parade naked! My original idea was that they transform in beach cabins or places hidden from sight. Still – I hate these fragments in the book. But, you can’t avoid them in any way, if you have mermaids with the ability to transform, and live both in the sea and on land. Every race has its limitations. Vampires need to wash teeth every time they consume blood, etc.
Unforgivable Flaw no. 3 – Amelia travels little for a book with so many mermaid countries, and as a result, most of those countries remain blank names
I believe that this novel would’ve been much more interesting, if Amelia was travelling between mermaid countries to steal artifacts, rather than being based in Santa Ana. But she doesn’t. I wanted to make changes, yet this would require me to write everything from scratch and that was something, I didn’t want to do. First because, it’s an incredible amount of work, and second, I wouldn’t be able to write about the mermaid community and karate team from Santa Ana, and, I really wanted to keep those subplots. They matter much.
Having decided, I wouldn’t add more travel scenes, I decided to keep developing the mermaid world in story collections and next books in the series. I could’ve added more detailed descriptions to the first book, but this would only bore readers to death, and divert their attention from the main plot. So, I’ve decided to leave those for other works.
Unforgivable Flaw no. 4 – Some characters make irrational choices
You’ve already read the article about mindless things that Amelia does; with the top one being her choice to follow a total stranger into his submarine, breaking into her neighbor’s apartment, and committing public theft. However, certain characters, made more illogical choices, which, fortunately, I managed to cover over time with plausible explanations.
One of such examples, was the one of Hansuke deciding to look for Kamadia in the sea, long after she had gone missing. Are you serious, bro?! What made you think that you’d find her there? Can you even see into the water from your fishing boat? I guess not. So, in the end, I came up with the lengthy excuse that can be summed up as: “I was waiting for her on the boat every day, because, I missed her, and just wanted to look out of her, in case, she was coming home this way…”
This is just one example, and trust me, there were really many… Making sure, everything worked logically “…The Lost Symphony” cost me so much rereading, rewriting, and editing, I could give lectures about it. I believe, I managed to somehow explain all illogical choices, but still have nightmares that there’s something, I omitted.
Unforgivable Flaw no. 5 – Plausible love interests appear way too late
If Amelia had had at least one conversation with Tony in the first chapter, and reminisced him more often, their hug wouldn’t stun readers so much. And similarly – if she had met Taisuke on the same night on which she had arrived to Santa Ana, readers would be much more eagier to root for him. Instead, they both make appearances quite late, and you don’t really notice them, until, they show themselves from a positive side.
I feel that this mistake, made romance options almost invisible, but honestly, I’m secretly glad about it. I think that sixteen year old girls shouldn’t be overly focused on love matters, that’s not the right age to be preoccupied with these things. I’m kinda conservative, as you can see.
Unforgivable Flaw no. 6 – Low focus on emotions, inner monologues, and philosophical reflections
Over time, my writing style changed tremendously. In high school, I was inspired with global literature that we had to read for class. I was mostly impressed by “The Plague” by Albert Camus and “Cinnamon Shops” by Bruno Schulz. However, I’ve also watched “The old man and the sea”” by Ernest Hemingway and “Great Expectations” by Charles Dickens, and my two favorite classical books were “The Lord of the Flies” by William Golding and “In 80 Days around the World” by Jules Verne. I felt that writing should be engaging and descriptive, and filled with various literary tricks and symbols. With that mindset, I wrote the first version of “Mermaid Princess Amelia and the Lost Symphony.”
But later, my style changed tremendously. It happened because of Haruki Murakami and Stephenie Meyer.
I’ve read “Twilight” and “New Moon” as a teenager, and liked these two books, but became enamored with Stephenie Meyer after reading “The Host.” I was extremely impressed with her inner monologues, and how she describes emotions, especially romantic ones. They capture you like a fast river current, and suddenly, you can’t get out anymore, you are addicted and just want more. I was fascinated by that, however, I didn’t try to replicate this. I was very attached to my original style and kept feeding it with more awarded books such as “The Inheritance of Loss” by Kiran Desai.
The change occurred only in my last year of college. I’ve read “Norwegian Wood” by Haruki Murakami and was tremendously impressed by the inner monologues, philosophical reflections and emotional states of the protagonist. After “Norwegian Wood,” I finally gave up my old style and decided, I would write about all kinds of feelings.
I grew tremendously as an author, since then; but my current portfolio doesn’t reflect it yet. I want to publish my older works first, before venturing to new ones.
In any case, yes; I don’t like the style of “…The Lost Symphony.” It’s not bad; I’ve based myself on too many awarded authors, to create it. But, that style, is my history, and, I’m not happy with it anymore. I want to change, and write work that’s much deeper, and good for reflection.
What do you think about all this? Did you spot these flaws, when reading? Do you even consider them flaws, or do you think that they are the novel’s unique quirks? I’m hoping to hear from you on this matter!
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Grab your copy of “Mermaid Princess Amelia and the Lost Symphony” here…
English: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08T6BJ6RG
Spanish: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08Z8GK1JX
Italian: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0953PN3Y7
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